


Until We Meet Again

by phlebotinxm



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Bucky Barnes & Sam Wilson Friendship, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Bucky Barnes Recovering, Canon Divergence - Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Coming Out, Fix-It, Gay Bucky Barnes, Happy Ending, M/M, Sam Wilson Is a Good Bro, Sam Wilson is a Gift, Steve Rogers & Sam Wilson Friendship, Time Travel Fix-It
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-20
Updated: 2019-12-20
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:02:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21877834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phlebotinxm/pseuds/phlebotinxm
Summary: Yet another fix-it Endgame fic.-The one in which upon Steve's disappearance, Sam decides to take Bucky under his wing, and Bucky finally finds himself.That is, until Steve comes back.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes & Sam Wilson, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Comments: 9
Kudos: 186





	Until We Meet Again

**Author's Note:**

> Hello friends! here's yet another endgame fix it fic, and of course I had to make it about Steve and Bucky. it took me a while to write and post this because I mostly didn't really think about what I wanted to do in a fix it fic, but then my friend Candice commissioned me and it got a little out of hands. I hope she (and you all) will like it!
> 
> As always, English isn't my first language, and I am truly sorry for eventual mistakes you will find in this text. don't hesitate to commission me anything if you want, and enjoy! x

The moment Steve’s arms closed around him, he knew. To be fair, he’d realised minutes before, when he’d seen Steve and his resigned face take a hold on the briefcase with the intention of putting the gems back in time. He just didn’t want to believe it just yet.

Bucky had always been good at reading people, or so his mom told him when he was little, tucking him in his tiny bed in downtown Brooklyn. He hadn’t always agreed, especially at a time when he didn’t understand what it really meant, but he could admit that he was good at reading  _ Steve _ in particular. And as soon as he’d seen the crease between his eyebrows when he pulled him into a tight hug, infinity stones under his arm and mjolnir not far, he had understood. Steve had no intention of coming back in 2023, with him and the remaining Avengers. 

It didn’t matter how much he loved joking around with Sam and clap him on the shoulder when he talked, it didn’t matter how he had told Thor he’d see him soon, it didn’t matter how Morgan Stark had stolen his heart already. It didn’t matter that Bucky was there, waiting for him like he’d always been. 

“ _ I don’t know if I’m worth all of this Steve _ ” he’d told him once. Now, he knew that he wasn’t.

And no matter how much he tried to shut these feelings down, to bury them deep within him, it still hurt. 

Bucky had lived through various tortures in his time as the winter soldier. He’d lost his arm, been beaten with various sticks and fists and got his mind erased every other day for decades. But every other kind of torture looked ridiculously small next to the aching feeling in his guts at the thought of Steve never coming back to him. He had never lived in a world without Steve, and when the winter soldier had, Bucky Barnes wasn’t sure to be ready for it.

So when Steve hugged him tight to his chest, whispering the same dumb words he’d told him when he left for the war, he didn’t try to smile. He didn’t try to pretend, because Steve would see right through him no matter what. Not that it mattered, anyway. Because Steve had chosen what he was about to do, and Bucky had nothing to say on the matter. 

“I’m gonna miss you buddy” he whispered, incapable of holding himself back.

“It’s gonna be okay, Buck” Steve automatically replied, his eyes searching Bucky’s. 

Bucky was incapable of avoiding his gaze. He smiled sadly, but smiled nevertheless. 

“How long is it gonna take?” Sam asked somewhere in the background, as Steve stepped into the time machine.

Bucky barely heard him reply over the pounding in his ears. Still, he couldn’t ignore the voices. 

“For him? As long as he needs. For us, 5 seconds.” 

Five seconds. Five long seconds, the exact time it would need for him to realize that he wasn’t worth it after all. He barely looked up as Steve got ready for the jump, even if he felt his gaze on the top of his head. He couldn’t face it, he couldn’t face him knowing that the pleading eyes and worried look would be the last thing he’d ever see of Steve Rogers. 

“Alright Cap, we’ll meet you there okay?” 

“You bet.” 

Eventually, he had to look up. He had to look at the man he loved one last time, even if it killed him. He barely had time to look at Steve’s barren face before the quantic suit closed on his face. 

“Going quantic in three, two, one…” 

When Bruce pushed the button, Bucky didn’t even pay attention. All he could see was Steve disappearing before his very eyes, and the ache in his heart that accompanied the action. It took less than a second, yet Steve’s lingering presence seemed to stay for a little longer, suspended mid air. At his sides, he could sense Sam tensing as the short but incredibly long five seconds passed. Bruce might have been counting down for all he knew, but Bucky couldn’t hear anything over the ringing in his ears. He felt empty, hollow, as if something had been taken away from him. He knew exactly why, but he wouldn’t voice it out loud, or even think about it. Because it hurt too much, at the moment. 

“Get him back!” he heard Sam say, just when he realised that the five seconds were now long passed. 

A tired smile spread his lips as he looked at the platform in front of him, desperately empty. Behind him, Sam and Bruce were both freaking out, pushing buttons and yelling at each other. Without looking back at them, he started walking towards the forest. 

“Bucky!” Sam screamed, jogging to his side to grab his right arm and stop him. “Bucky, what the hell? Do you know what happened?” 

He could feel how teary his eyes were when he looked up at other man, Sam’s face twisted with confusion and emotions as he realized that his friend was gone. 

“He’s not coming back, Sam” he whispered, voice surprisingly even. “It’s alright. He made his choice.” 

“What do you mean, he made his choice?” the other man asked, looking even more upset than before. He frowned, “Did you know about this?” 

Bucky shook his head. “No, I didn’t. I just… I just felt it coming.” 

“What do you mean? Bucky, what choice did Steve make?” 

Instead of forming a reply, Bucky shook his arm from the other man’s grip and kept walking. 

“It’s alright, Sam” he finally whispered, knowing that he was still listening “I just wasn’t good enough.” 

-

As the lyrics of “It’s been a long time” slowly faded away in the vast living room, Steve bend over a little to push a kiss against Peggy’s mouth, only to be met by the soft skin of her cheek. 

“What are you doing here Steve?” Peggy immediately whispered, no doubt anticipating his question.

Steve frowned, unable to hide his confusion at her straightforward question. “I told you, Pegs. I’m here because of the time stones. I wanted to see you again, I wanted-“

“You wanted your dance” Peggy smiled, all kinds of emotions that Steve didn’t want to name shadowing her beautiful face. “And you just had it, my love. But what you  _ doing _ here?” 

It took a little longer for Steve to answer that question. He stared at Peggy, her gorgeous face and beautiful features so familiar yet so different from what he remembered, altered with time and experiences he’d never possibly know. As he had watched her through the curtains in 1970, hiding while waiting for Tony to retrieve the Tesseract, all he could focus on was the ache in his chest as he looked at her pearly skin and oh so familiar form. Now that he has her in his arm though, he couldn’t ignore the clench of his heart as he realized that the feeling in his stomach as he stared at her didn’t feel the same as it was when he’d crashed the plane back in 1945. Both of them were different people now, having lived through so many things on their own and it just didn’t feel the same anymore, no matter how hard he tried to ignore it and push it back at the corner of his mind. 

“I don’t know” he finally admitted, breaking their embrace to take a uncertain step back. “I… I don’t know.” 

Peggy didn’t seem fazed by his hesitation, and she mentioned for them to sit side by side on the couch. Her hand never left his, and he clung to it firmly. His last remaining clear thoughts seemed to hold in this handshake as her fingers closed tightly around his, grounding. 

“You know Steve, this is all I've ever wanted, you coming back to me” she squeezed his hand tightly, a gentle smile spreading her face. “I’ve dreamed for years about you coming through the front door, that smile of yours stretching your face and your strong arms holding me tight.” 

She stayed silent for a second, lost in her thoughts. A car passed in the streets, the familiar yet unfamiliar sound of the old engines making Steve shiver. 

“But?” he asked, throat tight. 

She smiled. 

“But I moved on. I’ve got a different life now, Steve.” she waved her ring finger on her left hand, barren from any ring but clearly pale enough to indicate that there was one, usually. “I’m married. His name is Daniel Sousa, he’s a wonderful man and I’m happy with him. I don’t wear my ring at work because… well. You know how it is for women in that kind of business.” 

Steve’s throat felt tight, and his insides just as painful. But the look on Peggy’s face was honest, and open. In the adjacent room, a small cry startled them both. Peggy immediately let go of his hands to get up, disappearing through the corridor, and she came back a handful of seconds later with a small child cradled against her chest. 

“His name is Steven” she whispered as she sat back next to Steve, hands gentle on the baby’s head. His big brown eyes looked up at Steve curiously, and Steve could clearly see Peggy’s round nose and rosy lips as he looked at the infant’s face. “Daniel insisted on it” 

To his utter surprise, Steve didn’t feel half as bad as he’d expected to as he gazed upon the baby. The private smile that spread Peggy’s lips as she looked down at her babbling son was something he’d never seen before, and he suddenly understood. 

“I understand” he whispered, knowing fully well that she’d heard him perfectly. 

“Do you, Steve?” Peggy asked, looking up at him. Her eyes bore into his, and he felt himself swallow nervously. “I don’t really think you do. You know, of all the things I regret in my life, the biggest one was the fact that you’d never get to experience all of this.”

He didn’t need to ask what “this” meant precisely. He knew, with the way she held her son into her arms and the way she easily moved in her living room, decorated with various photographs and souvenirs from a time he  _ wasn’t _ there. He thought about Tony’s voice, tight with raw emotion as he called him a few years back to tell him that his daughter was born. He remembered Nat’s face when he’d told her that he was coming back, that he’d help her try to get everyone back. He thought about Bucky, his Bucky, face open and vulnerable as he told him to take care of himself while he was gone, eyes red in a way he didn’t remember seeing before. 

“But you did” Peggy kept going, voice as even as ever. If she’d noticed that he was lost in his thought, she didn’t mention it. “A few years late, but you did. You did with the Avengers, with Howard’s son, with  _ Bucky _ .” 

Her voice broke at the end of her sentence, and he looked up at her. 

“I’ll always love you, Steve. You will always be my first love, my darling. But your heart is somewhere else, and it had always been there.”

“Peggy-“ 

“Don’t. I know that you mean it, Steve. I know that you love me too, and that you’d stay here in a heartbeat if I asked. But I also know that a piece of your heart died when James fell off that train, and that I haven’t seen you look this whole and happy ever since. But you walked through that door, and it was like suddenly, the Steve from 1943 was looking straight at me. The Steve that defied order and risked his own life to save his best friend behind German lines; the Steve who looked at Bucky like he was his entire world and crashed a plane a few weeks after his best friend’s death without looking back because he had nothing to lose.”

Steve felt like he was drowning. He couldn’t seem to fit air in his lungs, and Peggy’s kind but determined eyes were not helping. 

“But you, coming back to me here?” she shook her head. “You loved the idea of this life, Steve. You loved me, yes, but in a time when loving the love of your life wasn’t possible.” 

She put a gentle hand on his arm, making him flinch.

“Go back to him, Steve. I promise, I will take care of everything.” 

He raised an hesitant gaze to bore it into hers. “Everything?” 

Peggy’s steady eyes were cold as ice as she nodded. 

“If Hydra is growing inside of Shield, if they have Bucky… I will tear it down until I find him” her eyes were shiny with tears. “I promise, my love. It might not be easy, but then again it never was for women in this business, right?”

Steve let out a shaky laugh, nodding his head as a few treacherous tears escaped his eyes. 

“I might have something that will help, though.” 

He dug into his jeans pocket to retrieve his compass, looking oddly small and out of time in his hands. 

“This should belong to you” he said as he handed it over to Peggy. “The world knows I died with it. No one will question you if you have it. They might not understand, but I trust you to fill in the important people.” 

He looked at the device one last time, closing it before putting it in the small of Peggy’s palm. 

“This is me, closing a door forever” he whispered, looking up at Peggy.

In response, she smiled shyly.

“I will miss you my darling. Now, go live that life of yours before it’s too late.” 

—

Bucky walked in the woods for a little while, trying very hard to empty his mind. He walked around the lake, following the sounds of the birds and various animals in the trees, remembering how Morgan had explained to him during dinner a few nights ago that she’d never seen that many animals all at once. When Thanos had snapped half of the population, he’d also snapped animals and insects. Now, the world was back to something resembling normal, and trying to adjust back to what it was before. 

Two weeks had passed since the death of Thanos, his army, and Tony Stark. The entire world was grieving the latter, and the Avengers had taken quite a hit as well. It had taken Bruce, Hope and Scott all two weeks to build a safe time machine, two weeks during which they’d all had to deal with the aftermath of the second snap. The Avengers HQ being reduced to ashes, Pepper had offered the now homeless members of a team a place to stay with her. Bucky suspected that she didn’t want to deal with her grief alone, and he couldn’t blame her. Steve, Sam and Bucky had stayed, along with Bruce. Thor had left with the Guardians, and the rest of the team were lucky enough to still have a home. 

Now, though, Bucky didn’t know if he could call it “home” anymore. Without Steve in his life, he felt like a part of him had been ripped right out of his chest. The pain he could feel radiating inside of him, tightening his chest and weakening his muscles made it really hard for him to focus on anything anymore. He didn’t know for how long he walked, but he ended up sitting on the shore of the lake somewhere far from the ashes and bricks that were once the Avengers HQ. Not that far away from him, people were trying to get their lives back, trying to pretend that the blip (as the media called it now, apparently) didn’t happen. 

“Took me a while to find you” was all Sam said when he approached, barely startling Bucky.

He didn’t reply. He didn’t feel the need to, but then again Sam never really stopped to have a meaningful conversation with him before. They didn’t ever get the chance, really. 

“You know” Sam kept going as he sat. “I never apologised for being a dick to you, before.”

Bucky shrugged it off immediately. “It’s fine.”

“No it’s not. But I had a feeling you might say that.” 

Bucky shrugged again. He also fought back a tiny smile. Silence stretched between them, and it was Sam who broke it off again, letting himself fall graciously next to Bucky on the grass. 

“How long?” he asked after a while, almost in a whisper. 

Bucky didn’t blink. “How long what?”

“How long have you been in love with Steve?”

In retrospect, Bucky knew that he should have been horrified to be faced with his feelings like that. But he was old, older than most people should have been after living the traumatic events he went through, and he was just tired. He was tired of pretending, tired of keeping this a secret and tired of holding back his emotions. He’d done enough of this with Hydra. 

“Forever I think” he replied, surprised to realise that he didn’t freak out. “From the moment I found this tiny blond guy fighting against older, bigger dudes and bleeding out all over the floor.” 

Sam didn’t say anything. 

“We were 6, the first time we met” Bucky kept going. “Well, I was 7, but Stevie was 6.” 

He looked at Sam from the corner of his eyes. The other man was looking straight ahead, but he wasn’t fooling anyone. He knew Sam was just waiting for him to continue, without pressuring him with a longing gaze. Sam was good like that (or so Steve told him, back when they were on the run). 

“I realized I was in love with him when I was 14. You know, at that time when you start to see your body change and get confused with all the new emotions bubbling inside of you.”

Sam stayed quiet still, but Bucky knew he had all his attention. 

“His ma passed away when he was 17, and we started living together not long afterwards. I worked several jobs to keep us fed, Stevie was too sick to actually do anything more than a few artistic commissions.” He paused, lips twitching to vainly contain a smile. “We grew up together, I started growing like a spurt by the time I was 14, but he stayed this tiny little angry man, always ready to jump in a fight. I swear I had white hair by the time I turned 20, I was so afraid he’d end up killed in some dark alley because of his sense of justice.” 

Sam huffed a laugh. “You know what, I’m not even surprised. I’ve seen photos, you know, of before. When he was tiny. But somehow, I never really properly imagined such a tiny man having the same stubbornness as the Steve I know now. But hearing that… I don’t know why I ever imagined him being any different when he didn’t have the muscles.” 

“Oh the muscles didn’t change a single thing” Bucky shook his head. “I’d say it made him even more stubborn than before.”

Sam seemed in loss for words after that, silently sitting by Bucky’s side for a long time. Bucky could feel his inquisitive gaze caress the side of his face sometimes, or could see him open his mouth before closing it again, probably unsure of what to say or ask. 

“I never told him” Bucky finally whispered. “I’ve been in love with him my entire life, yet I never found the courage to tell him. Sounds, ridiculous, doesn’t it?” 

Sam shook his head immediately. “No, I don’t think it’s ridiculous, Bucky.” 

Bucky shrugged, dismissive. 

“I did a lot of things for Hydra. Killed thousands of people, even a President. Learned dozens of languages, survived so many fights and torture. Yet I always was incapable to stop loving him.” he sighed. “And now he’s gone, he’s gonna marry Peggy Carter and have a whole football team of tiny little babies. Sure, he’ll probably name one of them James, but…”

He stopped, realizing that it was pointless to fight to keep his voice even. He swallowed a few times, nervous, keeping his gaze straight ahead as he felt Sam stare at him.

“But it breaks your heart” Sam eventually finished for him, realizing that Bucky had no intention to do it himself. 

Bucky chuckled dryly. “Yeah. Yeah, it does.”

He stopped, watching a baby duck swim in circles in front of them for a little while. 

“I hate myself for it, you know?” he said. “I hate myself for being jealous of her. Peggy and Steve… they were meant to be. You should have seen them together.” He smiled, shaking his head at the memory. “She looked at him like the sun shined right out of his ass. And you know how I know that?” he asked, turning to Sam for the first time since they’d started talking. 

Sam shook his head. “No?”

Bucky smiled sadly. “Because I looked at him the exact same way. I would have recognized it everywhere.”

He sighed, long and deep. 

“I hate myself for being jealous of her because she is the best lady anyone could have asked for” Bucky kept going. “Strong, resilient, a born leader. Stubborn as hell, too. Her and Steve… they deserve each other. But even if I know that, even if…. even if I made my peace with it, or so I thought, I just can't stop envying her.” 

Sam pursed his lips, turning his head to the lake in front of them once again. 

“It’s only human, to be jealous of what you couldn’t have” he said, debating on putting a hand on Bucky’s shoulder. “especially after loving someone for so long.”

Bucky chuckled, throwing him a glance. “Yeah, I might be the worst case of pining in the world, you can say it.”

This time, Sam felt confident enough to raise his hand in the hair in a fake defensive gesture.

“I haven’t said a single thing” he said jokingly. 

Sam didn’t know Bucky Barnes very well. He’d known the winter soldier, studied his files again and again while on the run with Steve and he didn’t even have the chance to have a real talk with him after they’d found him, too busy running away from the rest of the Avengers for that. After that, when Bucky was put in cryo in Wakanda, he’d ran away with Steve and Nat across the globe for months, and Thanos had snapped both of them what appeared to be five years ago (it still felt a little unreal, to be completely honest). But right now, sitting next to the man on a lake shore as he poured his heart out, Sam felt his heart clench for him. Steve was the last remaining bits of his past, and the last person linking him to his human side before Hydra stripped everything from him. And now, Steve was gone and Bucky was alone facing a world he was discovering entirely again. 

“It doesn’t matter now, anyway” Bucky finally said in a sigh, gaze falling on his lap. 

His eyes were dry from any tears, but the heartbreak was written all over his face anyway. 

“Did you know?” Sam asked finally. “That he was gonna leave, I mean?” 

Bucky blinked a few times, swallowing the lump on his throat a few times before replying. “Yeah. He didn’t need to tell me a thing, I just knew the moment he took me in his arms. I’ve known him for a very long time, there’s not much this man can hide from me anymore.” 

  
This new bit of information made Sam frown. 

“And you didn’t tell him?”

“Didn’t tell him what?” 

“Well, you know” Sam said, making a circle gesture with his hands. “About your feelings.” 

Bucky huffed, nose scrunching. “Why? It wouldn’t have changed a thing.”

“But…”

Bucky shook his head firmly.

“I didn’t want Steve’s last gaze for me to be filled with pity, Sam” he said, voice tight, as he looked up at the other man. “I didn’t want him to leave to live the life he’d always wanted feeling guilty for leaving me behind, especially after all he’s been through in the last five years.”

Sam stayed silent for a moment, processing the information. He hadn’t thought about Steve at all in this scenario, for obvious reasons. But Bucky was right, and guilting Steve into staying behind was not something he would have wished for him either. No matter how mad at him he was at this very moment. 

“I understand” he finally said quietly. 

Bucky kept going. “You know, he didn’t have to tell me what they lived through, all the Avengers, to bring everyone back. But I know Stevie, hell I know him even better that I know myself. And I knew from the moment I saw his face when we walked through those portals that he was ready to risk it all… even if it meant losing his life.” 

He stopped, letting out yet another sigh. In front of them, the water ruffled with the wind, clapping pleasantly against the shore beneath them. 

“He deserves his rest” Bucky said once again. “Even if it means he’s gonna find it in someone else’s arms.” 

“Bucky” Sam whispered, putting a firm hand on his shoulder. The contact was odd, but not unwelcome. “You deserve some rest, too. You know that, right?” 

The smile Bucky gave him in response was neither warm nor sincere. 

“I mean it” Sam insisted, “You do. We don’t know each other very well, I get that. But what you’ve been through… No one walks away from that unmarked. You deserve some rest, too. And Rogers of all people should have seen that.”

Sam fought back a dramatic eye-roll when Bucky shrugged again. Clearly, out of their friendship, Steve was not the only stubborn one. 

“Do you have anywhere to go?” He asked suddenly, his grip on Bucky’s shoulder firm and unmoving. 

“I don’t think so” the other man replied, bashful. “After the blip… I don’t know what happened to Wakanda, and I imagine they have many things to settle. I don’t wanna impose there anymore.”

He looked up, staring at the birds flying over their heads silently for a minute, visibly thinking. 

“I might go back to New York after all” Bucky said with a smile. “I believe Brooklyn changed quite a lot, since the last time I went. But it’s still home, you know?” 

Sam chuckled. 

“Yeah, I get that.” he replied, before frowning as a new idea blossomed in his mind. “Or maybe… Maybe you could come with me.” 

Bucky threw him an incredulous look, visibly taken aback. “What?” 

“I said” Sam repeated, now sure of his decision. “You should come with me. My sister’s got a place in DC, and she already called me a few days ago to tell me I was welcome to come stay with her for a while. After the whole mess Thanos made, you know, I imagine my flat’s not gonna be mine much longer. Probably has some new people in there, just like the spider kid’s aunt, you know? So until then… you should come with me. Stay with her for a while. Rest a little.” 

Bucky’s incredulous expression had not left his face, and Sam couldn’t help but crack a grin at the image. The world’s greatest assassin, rendered speechless by kindness. He however shook the thought pretty quickly when he realized how deeply touched Bucky was, if the way his bottom lip quivered slightly was of any indication. 

“Are you sure?” Bucky finally asked, and both men ignored how rough his voice sounded. “I don’t wanna impose there too.”

Sam smiled. “Yeah, man, I’m sure. You’ll see, my sister’s kids are little bundles of joy and they’ll adopt you in no time. You’ll never want to leave afterwards.”

“But are you sure she’ll have enough room for us both?” Bucky asked again. “I don’t wanna force you to share with me.” 

“Oh yeah” Sam replied in a chuckle. “She’s got plenty room alright, big house with several bedrooms. My sister’s an advocate, and her husband is a congressman. Trust me, you’ll see: plenty of room.” 

Bucky didn’t sound convinced in the slightest, but after all, Sam wasn’t expecting this to be easy. 

“But” Bucky kept going, frowning. “Are you sure you want me around kids?” 

Sam rolled his eyes once again, pushing his hand on his thighs to get up, wincing at the way his knees popped in the process. Who would have thought that being dusted would be so hard on the bones? 

“Get up, you idiot. We’re leaving for DC” was all he replied.

\- 

“I’ve always wanted a cat” Bucky said in the car, just when they were nearing Philadelphia. 

They still had a little over two hours and a half to go on the road, but the beginning of the journey had been made in almost complete silence. Sam had tried not to stare mournfully at Bucky’s tiny bag when he’d packed for the journey, realizing once again that the man had almost nothing to his name. He made a mental note to stop somewhere for shopping, even if Bucky claimed he didn’t need anything. Black jeans and Steve’s old jackets weren’t gonna suffice in a proper DC Winter anyway. 

“Yeah?” Sam replied, throwing him a glance from the corner of his eyes. 

Bucky was facing away from him, staring out of the window and looking at the sunset in the fields next to the road. 

“Yeah” Bucky smiled. “Couldn’t have one when we were kids, because it would have required too much attention and my mom was already busy enough as she was with two kids and Stevie on top of that. After, we discovered that Steve was allergic to them anyway.” 

He stopped talking for a while, frowning at the passing cars. 

“I guess I could get one, now.” he finally said.

Sam smiled. “Yeah, man. You can do and be whoever you want now.”

Bucky threw him a glance, before forcing his lips into a smile. 

“You mean I can dye my hair pink and get tattooed all over my body?” he said in a high pitched voice, making Sam huff in annoyance. 

“You know what, Barnes” Sam warned, big smile betraying his amusement, “I always knew you were a little shit. From the moment you wrecked my car by tearing off the wheel.”

  
This time, Bucky’s laugh was clear and resonated in the cubicle. 

“But you have to admit, it was an ugly car” he replied once he’d stopped laughing, eyes shiny with amusement. 

Sam faked a loud gasp, clutching his chest. “Oh no, you didn’t!” 

The rest of the car ride was rhythmed with a few more laughs and comfortable silences, and by the time they were parking in front of Sam’s sister’s place, the two and a half hours had passed fairly quickly. Sam turned off the lights of the car, and Bucky could see the front door opening to leave place to a beautiful dark skinned woman with mid length hair braided in bright colors, holding a little boy on her hip. 

“Hey Sarah” Sam said as he got out of the car, embracing his sister before kissing the boy’s forehead. “What’s this one doing up at this time?” 

Sarah rolled her eyes exaggeratingly. “This one overheard you say in the phone that you’ll be home tonight, and refused to go to sleep until you got there.” 

  
The little boy wriggled out of his mother’s grasp and onto Sam’s arms, and Sam laughed delightfully as he tucked his head against his neck, ignoring his mother pointly. 

“Sarah” Sam said while turning around, gesturing at Bucky to come out of the car and come closer. “This is Bucky. Bucky, this is my sister Sarah.” 

Sarah threw a pointed look at her brother, that Bucky could not decipher. After a couple of seconds, she turned to him, and embraced him just like she’d embraced her brother a little earlier. 

“Hi Bucky” she said with a smile. “Welcome.”

“Hello” Bucky replied politely, fighting the urge to pass his weight from one foot to the other like he did when he was a child. “Thank you for having me.”

Sarah made a grand gesture with her hand, waving him off. 

“Oh come on, it’s nothing. If you don’t mind children playing and babies screaming in the middle of the night, you’re more than welcome here.” 

Sam and Bucky both huffed out a laugh at that, following her inside as she led them to their respective rooms.

The next morning, Bucky met John, her husband, briefly. He shook his hand, didn’t even blink when he saw the metal fingers, and handed Bucky a crying baby when he realized that said baby was fascinated by Bucky’s long hair.

Bucky figured, a little dumbfound as he looked at the tiny body in his arms, that he was probably adopted in the family at this point. 

“Do you want me to hold her?” Sam asked during the afternoon, when it was clear that the baby (a little girl, named Juliet) was erupted in Bucky and gave up on crying as long as it involved being nestled in his arms. 

“Nah” Bucky replied immediately, almost protectively. “I’m fine.”

Sam had a hard time fighting back a smile when he saw Bucky tightening his grip on her little body as she started to doze off against his torso halfway into trying for the third time to put his metal pinkie in her mouth. He had a even harder time holding back his laugh the next day when Connor, in all his two and half years old glory, suspended himself to Bucky’s flesh arm as he balanced the very heavy and entirely put together Ikea bookshelf Sarah had wanted to put in her living room for months on his metal one. 

Sam and Bucky had been staying with Sarah and John for four whole weeks before Sam realized that Bucky hadn’t been moping alone in his room in days. As he glanced at Bucky explaining in great details (and vigor, with a lot of hand movements) to Connor why it was so important to listen to his mom as Sarah stood by his side, hands firm on her hips, his heart ached in a whole different way for Bucky. For the first time in what felt like forever, the man didn’t look lonely. And happiness looked really good on him. 

“I’m gay” Bucky whispered one night, as Sam and him were laying on the living-room couch watching Tv, feet propped on the small table in front of them, Sarah John and the kids sleeping in their respective rooms. 

Sam stilled, unsure of what to say for a short moment. At first, he wasn’t even sure he’d heard right, but a quick glance thrown Bucky’s way confirmed he had in fact heard what he’d confessed. Bucky looked like he was drowning in the couch with the way he forced his body to be swallowed by the large cursions, and his bottom lip had completely disappeared between his teeth as he bit into it almost violently. 

“Cool” Sam replied almost by automatism, forcing himself to focus on the show in front of them again instead of staring at Bucky. 

They were watching the original series of Star Trek, to Bucky’s demand. Sam had seen a few when he was a kid, but never took the time to binge watch all of them like this. It was nice, and he loved the way Bucky’s eyes sparkled with joy at the sight of space ships.

“Thanks for telling me” he added afterwards, grabbing a candy from the bowl nestled in between their bodies on the couch and pushing it into his mouth. 

From the corner of his eyes, he could see Bucky relax. It took him twenty more minutes to comment on Spock’s outfit in the episode they were watching, but when he did, he did it with a smile. 

After two whole months spent at Sarah and John’s, Sam almost had a heart attack when Bucky got out of the bathroom with short hair one morning. Sarah did a better job at hiding her reaction, her eyes growing comically huge before she looked away quickly, but there was no way to ignore Juliet’s broken hearted cry. After biting his lips at the edge of the living room door for what felt like hours, Bucky finally sat down with them for breakfast. Sam noticed in the following days that although the hair realistically didn’t change anything, the way Bucky carried his body was a little lighter after he’d cut it. 

Sam started working part time at the VA after a little while, incapable of staying still for much longer. Bucky came with him a few times, even if he didn’t say a single word during the sessions. He still had no idea what to do after everything that happened. Was he supposed to hand out a resumé to the local Starbucks, after being a brainwashed assassin for Hydra for more than 70 years? How much time could he grieve Steve before being forced to move on? Time passed and people started rebuliding the world, yet Bucky was still lost. 

He was still unsure of what to do of his days, rocking a fussy Juliet in his arms a few days later, when the front door rang. Sarah was in the kitchen with her hands full, John was away at work and Sam at the VA, so it was Bucky who opened the front door for once. 

As soon as the door was opened all the way (which was not the easiest thing to do with a baby in his arms), Bucky froze. 

“Heya, Bucky” Steve said with a shy smile, looking as handsome and young as ever as he stood in the doorway. 

-

When Sam came home after his VA meeting, he almost choked on thin air when he saw Steve Rogers sitting on his sister’s couch, looking like a sad puppy. A quick double take assured him that yes, Steve Rogers was truly back in 2023 looking as fresh and gorgeous as ever, and he wasn’t dreaming the way his sister stared at him fiercely from her spot in the kitchen, where she was furiously battling cake dough. 

“Sarah” he whispered, after throwing a silent but confused look at Steve, who looked like he wanted to be swallowed entirely by the couch. “What have you done to him?” 

His sister huffed loudly, tearing his eyes away from Steve just long enough to throw the same hard look at his brother. 

“I did what needed to be done, that’s all” she replied, looking down at the cake preparation. “The man is the reason why Bucky looks like a sick puppy all the time… oh, don’t give me that look, of course I know. You think I’m stupid, Samuel?” she asked as he opened his mouth to interrupt, only to close it immediately. “You guys and your stupid habit of not saying anything to one another. All I had to do was to take Bucky shopping, pretending I needed help with Juliet and the stroller, and he told me everything. And don’t you think I didn’t notice the way he eyed the blonde and incredibly fit cashier’s ass, either.” she said, whispering the last phrase for Sam’s ears only. 

And there was one information that Sam Wilson didn’t really need. Yet, looking at the way Sarah furiously dipped the cake dough into another bowl, he shut his mouth. Sam Wilson was no coward, but he knew better than to anger his already angry little sister even more. 

“And now this one” she said, pointing out at Steve with a dough-filled hand beater, “comes back months after, all loving face and shiny smile? Not on my watch.” 

Sam couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow in surprise. On the couch, Steve was tomato red, no doubt having heard the entire conversation. Not that Sarah wanted him to avoid it, obviously. 

“Sarah” Sam whispered, a little taken aback. “That’s… he’s Captain America.”

Sarah stared at him, unphased. “Well, he could be the damn president for all I care. He still made Bucky sad.” 

Bucky. Where the hell was Bucky?

“Where is he?” Sam asked, realizing instantly that he was nowhere to be seen. “Is he okay?” 

Sarah’s face smothered a little from any anger, and she nodded. 

“He’s putting Juliet to sleep. She’s been fussy all morning, and he needed to process this information” she said, mentioning at Steve. “I told him to wait here. After all, he had no problems making Bucky wait for almost three months.” 

With that, she turned her back to the both of them, putting her cake in the oven and pointedly ignoring them and their wary look. Looking back at Steve, looking oddly small on the couch, Sam sighed and headed to the living room. 

“Long time no see” he said, sitting down carefully next to Steve. 

It felt odd, him being back. Somehow, in the three months following Steve’s disappearance, Sam had found a new rhythm in his life. Of all things, he’d found out that Bucky was a pretty funny guy. He’d guiltily thought about it one night, after Bucky had made yet another bird joke, and realized that he’d never thought about how Bucky would be like outside of the Winter Soldier persona. The answer was a pretty charming, funny, and laid out guy. Although he was always careful around the kids (as if he’d somehow hurt them, which was ridiculous considering how gentle he was with them always) and how he sometimes looked like he held back a few things during late night conversations, Sam had found a friend in him that he didn’t know he needed. For Steve to come back after what felt such a long time felt weird, because Sam couldn’t help but egotistically think about Steve taking Bucky away from him. After all, he’d been there for Steve for years, and it didn’t prevent him from disappearing without even looking back. 

“Sam” Steve started, before pausing. 

He looked like he was looking for words, and Sam was not surprised to feel a little irritation at the sight. 

“You left” Sam said, accusingly. “You left everyone behind. You left Bucky behind, Pepper, Morgan, hell, you left me behind.” 

“Sam... “

Sam raised a hand in the air, stopping him from arguing. “I left everything for you a few years back” Sam spit without holding back. “I left my life, my job, I got back to fighting for you. Because you needed my help, and I didn’t need more reasons to follow you to the end of the world.” 

  
Steve had the decency to look sheepish, gaze dropping on his big hands folded on his legs. 

“But it didn’t matter a single bit to you” Sam kept going, shaking his head. “Because you still left. You know how that feels, Steve? To see your best friend disappear right in front of your very eyes, and then to understand that he’s not coming back and he didn’t even bother telling you about his entire plan?” 

Steve shook his head, understanding that it was better for him not to speak at the moment.

“No, of course you don’t” Sam spit. “Because you’ve always had Bucky by your side, then Nat, then me, and the Avengers. Because you didn’t think twice before leaving when we’d just gotten back into a world that aged 5 years without us understanding anything.”

He stopped, taking a deep, calming breath. 

“I’m mad at you, Steve” he said then calmer. “On my behalf, but also on Bucky’s. It wasn’t just me you left behind that day, and you know it.”

He pinched the bridge of his nose between his forefinger and thumb, sighing again. He could feel a subsequent headache coming, and he didn’t have the patience to stay seated here at this point. 

“I don’t need you to explain anything to me, not yet” he said then, looking up at Steve. “But you’re gonna have to make things right with Bucky.”

“I know, Sam” Steve whispered. “I’m sorry, I truly am.” 

“Well.” Sam shrugged, skin crawling. “I’m not ready to hear it yet, alright? I’m gonna go take a run. Talk to Bucky, or I swear I’m gonna let my sister kill you.” 

He got up, turning around one last time. 

“And if you make things worse with Bucky, I swear to God I’ll let her kill you then too.” 

On these words, he was out of the door. Steve swallowed with difficulty, throwing a look at Sarah, still judging him from above her glass of lemonade. She sighed, putting it down on the counter before gesturing at the door on his right. 

“He’s over there.” she said, voice still cold as ice. “And I swear you better fix things up.” 

When Steve entered Bucky’s room, he was surprised to see how colorful it was. Photos of Sam, his sisters and kids he recognized from the resemblance with both Sam and Sarah were stuck to the walls; as well as pictures of Shuri in her lab and white goats he assumed from Wakanda. There were several coats hanging from a coat hanger on the opposite wall, and the bed was covered with fluffy blankets of various sizes. Bucky was sitting at his desk, looking at him silently from between his lashes.

“Bucky” Steve said in a whisper. 

It felt so weird to be back in front of Bucky after spending three months in the past, without him. With his now short hair, Bucky looked like he was walking straight out of the 40s himself, with the tiniest bit of hair gel to hold back slightly overgrown strands of hair falling on his forehead. Steve noted that he was wearing a bright pink shirt covered in patches of baby spit, and the fingernails on his right hand were covered in dark nail polish. His black jeans were hugging his thighs almost obscenely, and Steve swallowed loudly when he felt his gaze linger at the sight. It was when Bucky fidgeted on his seat a little that he took note of the funny socks he was wearing, bright yellow and covered in tiny rainbows.

“Heya, Steve” Bucky finally said, looking straight at him with a blank face. 

“Can I sit?” Steve asked, mentioning to the bed. 

Bucky nodded silently, bringing his fit up to sit crossed legged on the chair at his desk. He stayed silent, watching Steve sit silently. 

“I’m sorry” Steve began as soon as he was seated on the comfortable bed, noting its bright sheets as well. “I’m truly sorry, Bucky.” 

Bucky turned his head towards the window, still silent. Steve could see the way he clenched his jaw and fists consecutively, and kept going. 

“I never should have left. I had this big plan to leave, stay in the past, marry Peggy, have a life and die of old age…” he stopped, noticing with a wince that his words seemed to make things even worse. Bucky’s face had fallen completely, and he looked two seconds away from bolting through the door. “But I never really wanted all of this, you know?” he kept going. “I never wanted… I realized once I stepped inside Peggy’s house in the 50’s that it wasn’t how I was supposed to live my life.”

Bucky let out a small huff of breath, shaking his head and visibly fighting an eyeroll. He still kept his gaze out of the window, though. Steve couldn’t really blame him. 

“Peggy helped me realize that, too. I was a stupid, going back to her. She had a new life, a baby, a husband… she was happy, and I just stepped inside all of this looking like an idiot.” 

This time, Bucky turned his head towards him, squinting at him. “So you came back because she wasn’t available anymore?” he asked, bitterness bleeding through his words. 

“What? No, Bucky, that’s not... “ Steve sighed, running a hand down his face. “No, I didn’t come back because of that. I just… it took me a travel in the past to realize some stuff.” 

Outside of the room, both men heard John come back from work, and Sarah greet him at the door. Connor’s excited scream soon followed as he most likely ran to his father, and Bucky let his lips turn into a shy smile at the sound. 

“I didn’t... I truly am sorry for leaving” Steve kept going after a few seconds of silence. “If I could slap past me in the face and tell him what an idiot he’s been... “

“Yeah, but you can’t” Bucky replied. “You can’t, and you have to face your decisions, Steve.” 

Steve smiled sadly. “Yeah, Buck. I know.” 

His gaze fell on his lap once again, and he fidgeted with his fingers for a little while before speaking up once more. 

“I realized I needed to go back an hour before I put back all the stones, and after seeing Peggy. But I had missed my window, and the platform wasn’t there for me to teleport onto anymore. So I had to seek out Howard, and I gave him most of Tony’s plans on time travel. I remembered seeing them as he worked on the machine back at the Avengers headquarters a few months ago.” he smiled a little, sad. “Told Howard he’d be proud of his son, and that he saved the world in 2023. It took him a few years to put it back together, but he eventually did.” 

This time, Bucky threw him a confused look. 

“A few years?”

Steve nodded. “Two and a half to be exact.”

“So you’re…”

“Older than in 2023, yes. I’m starting to get really lost in all these time travels, though.” Steve chuckled, then shrugged. “I can’t even remember how old I am.” 

Bucky rolled his eyes, balancing his weight a little bit on the side, leaning against the desk behind him. 

“You’re still younger than me you punk” he said with a tentative smile, that Steve returned. 

“Well, if you say so, jerk.”

They smiled at each other for a second, forgetting to be on their guard like at the beginning of their discussion. Bucky felt his heart clench when he realized how much he’d missed Steve by his side, in his life. 

“I saved you, you know” Steve finally said, smile disappearing slowly. “In this timeline, in the past… I saved you. Burned Hydra to the ground with the Howlies and Peggy to get you out of their hands.” 

Bucky blinked a few times, unsure he’d heard right. 

“You… what?” 

“I knew Hydra had you” Steve explained. “I was five years late, but I was never gonna let them keep you like they did in this timeline. So I contacted the Howlies, and of course these idiots came back in no time. Peggy and Howard, too. Not one of us were going to leave you behind, Bucky” he said, voice wobbling by the end of his sentence, and eyes shining with emotions. 

The other man seemed completely taken aback, surprised by the confession. 

“You… Oh” he finally said diligently. “I didn’t… They all came back?” he finally asked. “For me?” 

Steve smile widened. “Yeah. The funniest moment was when I got Peggy to reunite them all in a room and entered. I swear you should have seen their faces, I thought Dum Dum was gonna fall over.” 

This time, he was the one to turn his head to look out of the window, lost in his thoughts and memories. 

“They all blamed themselves for not looking for you, you know, when I told them about the winter soldier. I told them it was my fault first, but they’re stubborn son of bitches, these ones.” 

Bucky shook his head firmly almost immediately. “It was neither yours or their fault, Steve, you know that. We’ve been over this several times before, it was Hydra’s fault, that’s all.” 

Steve looked like he wanted to argue, but Bucky didn’t let him. Instead, he turned the conversation around, one more time. 

“Did you… You found me, right?” he asked, almost begging. 

Steve smiled again. “Yeah, yeah Bucky. We found you. They’d taken away a good portion of your memory already, and you had the arm, too. But we found you. Took all of us to take you down for you to stop fighting us and actually listen, too.” 

“Oh” Bucky whispered. 

“Yeah.” Steve chuckled. “We took you back to America, back to Brooklyn. It wasn’t easy, at first. But we got you back, Bucky. All of us.” 

Outside, the sun was beginning to set between the trees in Sarah and John’s garden. Bucky’s room was plunged into semi darkness, the orange light of DC’s golden hour caressing the walls opposite the window and allowing both men to see each other without turning on the lights yet. 

“I’m glad” Bucky finally blurted out, throat tight. “I’m glad… thank you. For saving me. Or him, I guess.” 

Steve nodded. Bucky was back to avoiding his gaze, but he knew it was a lot of things to digest at once. 

“You know I would never have left you like this, Buck. The years I spent back then… I don’t regret them. I got to tell the Howlies everything I’ve dreamed of telling them ever since I woke up. I had to dodge a few questions about their future, though” he confessed in a chuckle. “They were still as stubborn as when I left them, which is reassuring, in a way”.

  
He sighed, running a hand through his hair. 

“They all helped you a lot, when you started going back into the world. God, you should have seen Becca’s face when you came home. She was… well. She was pregnant with twins, if you can believe it.” 

Bucky let out a wet laugh. “I always knew she’d never do things by halves.” 

Steve chuckled in response. 

“That she doesn’t.” he paused, thoughtful. “Afterwards, you helped Peggy build Shield with Howard. You did… you did really great, Buck. When I left, I knew you’d do so many more great things in this timeline.” 

Bucky shrugged awkwardly. “Did you ever want to stay, then? With me there, way less broken than I am here. You could have had our old life back, if you wanted. Not Captain America anymore as everyone thought you were dead, with me and Peggy by your side… Surely it didn’t feel that attractive to come back here.” 

Even though Bucky’s tone was light, Steve could clearly decipher his resignation and anger between the words. He knew he wasn’t entirely forgiven, which was pretty fair, but it didn’t mean it didn’t hurt still. 

“I always meant to come home to you, Buck” Steve replied finally, staring at the other man with sincerity. “All of them… they were my friends, and I loved them, but they weren’t from my timeline. Whatever happened back then, it felt like it belonged to someone else. And those years I spent back there, I was just preparing myself to come back to you.” 

The vulnerability in his tone made Bucky shiver, and the brunette ducked his head to stare at the wooden floor of the room. It had been so easy to force himself to forget Steve, even though he didn’t really succeed overall. He’d forced himself to think about Sarah, the kids, Sam and John for months now, and laying eyes on Steve Rogers for the first time in three months, three months during which he’d thought he’d been abandoned by the very man, felt like falling out of a plane without a parachute. And he’d done that several times through the years, too. 

“I was angry at you” Bucky said with a shrug. “So angry. I was mad, but I was hurt, too. I never thought you’d leave me behind like this, Steve. And I’m not gonna forget this overnight, just because you came back to me in the end.” 

Steve shook his head, determined. 

“I know this, Bucky. And I didn’t expect you to just open your arms and greet me back with a smile. I’ve been stupid, and I know it. I’ve had the time to think about it, in the two and a half years I’ve spent away from you. Trust me. I’m willing to wait, for as long as it’ll take.” 

Bucky looked at him from between his lashes, biting the inside of his lip. He could see the wrinkles at the corner of Steve’s eye, that he didn’t remember noticing when Steve stepped on that time platform three months ago, next to the ruins of the Avengers headquarters. A few grey hair could be spotted as well on his temples, which only made him more handsome to his eyes. There was no doubts that the Steve standing right there had lived a couple of years in the 50s, and dwelling on the past would not lead them anywhere. He was hurt, but he’d also missed his best friend like crazy. 

“I know you are” Bucky finally said, softly, heart clenching. “I just needed to make you understand how much it hurt.” 

Steve blinked, visibly taken aback by his admission. “I know, Bucky.” 

He stopped talking, unsure. Outside of the window, darkness had enveloped the garden, plunging them into semi darkness, which they only seemed to realize at this moment. Bucky twisted his body around to turn on the small lamp on the desk for them to keep going on their conversation properly. 

“You know, when I saved you in 1951” Steve said slowly, “It took a little while for you to get all your memories back, as I told you. But we got to talk, you and me… I mean, the other you, and me.”

He chuckled, almost to himself. 

“I think I understood a lot, during the years I spent with you. With him, I mean” he kept going, looking up at Bucky with a shy smile. “I’m grateful for these years, I really am. Because I think I finally understood what an idiot I’ve been.” 

Bucky seemed to struggle with a question, clearly hesitating. 

“Now you have to tell me if I read this wrong” Steve said, getting up slowly, approaching his friend in small hesitating steps. “Because I’ve been an idiot for a long time, and the other Bucky made sure to tell me just how much of an ass I’ve been to you, but you know me” he shrugged, cheeks tainted red. “I’m the biggest idiot this earth has ever known.” 

Bucky couldn’t help but snort, even though his heart had been beating like crazy from the moment Steve got up from the bed and started walking towards him. He swallowed drily when Steve effortlessly pulled him from his chair with a hand on his elbow, nearly sticking their chests together in the process. Bucky’s eyes fell on Steve’s lips almost by automatism, before he blinked away, trying very hard to ignore the way their breaths mingled this way. 

“That I can’t argue with” Bucky whispered, voice tight. 

Steve’s gaze was not leaving his face, traveling from his lips to his eyes and back again. He seemed on the verge of saying something, mouth slightly opened, breath short. 

“You know” Steve teased a little, “I’ve jumped out off planes before, but somehow I never got as stressed as I am right now.” 

His remark made Bucky roll his eyes, blue pupils hardening. 

“You know we still gotta talk about that, by the way” He pointed out, crocking an eyebrow to emphasize his point. 

Steve had the decency to look shameful. “Yeah, well. You kinda disappeared on me for a long time, and then again right when I got you back. I think I did have a pretty amazing excuse.” 

Their breaths were mingling, Steve’s hot huffs of air caressing Bucky’s lower lip as he spoke. Bucky could feel himself shiver from head to toes in response, his entire body lightening up like a fire ready to burst at any moment. He tried very hard not to look down at Steve’s mouth once again, failing miserably after just a handful of seconds. 

“Are you gonna kiss me or what?” Steve finally asked, playful. 

Bucky couldn’t help but snort. He wanted to kiss this man so badly, it didn’t even feel real. After trying so hard to forget the way his heart clenched when he looked at him, when their bodies grazed and when Steve looked at him with a small smile; it was like breathing air after diving underwater for so long. It felt like ever nerves in his body were on fire, lit up by Steve’s mere presence. But he was nervous, more than he’d ever been before. Because he felt like he’d waited for this for ages, from the moment Steve’s tiny body curled under the covers in their flat when it was cold, Bucky’s strong arms holding him against his chest as he prayed that Steve would not get sick again, to the moment when he’d watched him disappear on the time platform never to come back. Was it really it? Or would this yet be another disappointment in his life? 

Steve must have felt the hesitation, because suddenly their chests were touching, not grazing anymore, and Steve’s plump mouth covered his. 

Thinking back about this moment, Bucky would be able to define the way he felt when Steve kissed him for the first time. When their lips touched, and when Steve’s hands timidly fell on his hips, Bucky could smell his mom’s apple pie and hear the way their old Brooklyn flat’s floor creaked when they walked on it. He could hear the ruffling of his father’s newspaper in the morning, and hear his sister’s laugh. When Steve Rogers kissed him for the first time, Bucky Barnes felt like he was finally home. 

“Are you okay?” Steve said as they broke the kiss, the blonde nipping at his lower lip gently. “Did you… Do you want me to leave?” 

Bucky shook his head vehemently, arms coming up to grab him by the neck and keep their bodies close. “No” he whispered, eyes still closed. “Please, stay.”

They didn’t really know how much time they spent like this, simply enjoying each other’s presence in the middle of Bucky’s room. One moment their foreheads were touching, breaths mingling and eyes locked, and the other had Steve nosing at Bucky’s jaw, peppering it with slight kisses as the other man closed his eyes and simply enjoyed the touch. 

“We probably need to get out of there at some point” Steve said after a while, thumb riddling Bucky’s ridiculous shirt up to be able to graze his skin. “Sam was worried about you.” 

Bucky hummed. 

“Sam is always worried about me. I like it, but don’t you dare tell him that.” 

Steve chuckled, pulling back just enough to be able to kiss Bucky one more time. 

“I’m never gonna be able to stop kissing you” he whispered, eyes twitching with glee. “I’ve dreamed of this for so long, and now I finally have you.” 

Bucky shook his head, amused. “I’m the one who waited for you, you idiot.” 

A shadow passed on Steve’s face. 

“I know, Buck. I know. The other Bucky…” he stopped, swallowing roughly. “We had some heart to heart conversations, him and I. It was so hard for him to get back into the world, he didn’t hesitate telling me when I was being a jerk. Me refusing to admit my feelings for you was one of the things he hated the most, he’d spent so much time longing after the other Steve that he just couldn’t imagine getting him back one day and not telling him how he felt.” He shrugged, pressing his thumb more firmly against Bucky’s lower back. “Speaking with him… it helped me a lot. It helped me understand a lot about him, and you, but also about myself.”

The smile that grazed his lips was soft but not sad anymore as Bucky looked at him. 

“We still have a lot to learn about each other” Bucky finally said, pushing his face against Steve’s neck. “But it’s okay. We have time.” 

“Yes” Steve said gently, using his free hand to cradle Bucky’s head gently. “That we have.” 

It was a loud knock on the door that startled them both. They regretfully parted, Steve keeping a possessive hand against the small of his back as the door opened to reveal a suspicious looking Sam. 

“I surely hope I’m not interrupting something nasty going on in my sister’s house” he said as he stepped in, looking from Steve to Bucky and then at Steve again. “because I’m not ready to forgive any more than what I forgave today” he said pointedly. 

Steve felt himself blush from ears to chest, and Bucky chuckled. 

“Shut up, Wilson” he said, rolling his eyes, fingers hitching to shove him playfully.

Neither him or Steve missed the way Sam looked at the way their bodies leaned against one another, or Steve’s hand on his hip. 

“So that’s how it’s gonna be now, uh?” Sam finally asked, faking annoyance but betrayed by the small smile tugging at the corner of his lips. “I had to follow this one” he said, pointing out at Steve “to the end of the world to find you, and now you’re both gonna be disgustingly sweet and happy together? Man, I’m so not paid enough for this shit.” 

-

Getting back to normal ended up being pretty easy for all of them. After a few warning looks from Sarah as they dined all together, Steve charming his way with the kids as usual, it soon felt like nothing had happened a few months before. Sure, the way both Steve and Bucky looked at each other timidly from time to time, still a little shy and awkward around each other and the few groans Sam emitted in response were pretty unfamiliar all things considered, but the way they fell into a new routine wasn’t. 

They got back to New York after a while, Steve and Bucky finding a little apartment in Brooklyn; Sam shaking his head and rolling his eyes everytime they talked about how expensive everything was. With their army back pay and what Shield gave Steve before everything that happened with the winter soldier and Hydra, they had enough money to buy themselves a place they would never have been able to afford otherwise.

“You know” Sam said one day as he let himself fall on their couch without grace, clenching his yet unopened bottle of beer in one hand, “the only thing bugging me about all of this retirement thing you’ve got going on is the fact that the world is gonna have to learn how to live without Captain America.” 

From where he stood in the open kitchen, Steve froze, looking up at Bucky who was now smiling slightly. 

“Yeah” Steve finally said, clearing his throat. “About that…” 

  
Bucky nodded encouragingly as he put glasses on the coffee table in front of the couch, garing at Sam’s feet currently propped on it. 

“Man” Sam huffed, removing said feet from where they were comfortably settled. “I thought you’d lost your winter soldier glare.” 

“Oh no” Steve replied with a chuckle. “He still uses it quite regularly, trust me.” 

“Only when you leave your dirty underwear on the floor, Steven” Bucky said with yet another glare, feeling himself huff as the only response he got were two giggles from the men in front of him. 

They sat down together on the couch, Steve pressing himself against Bucky almost by automatism. Bucky linked their fingers together, pressing his palm against Steve’s in the most reassuring way he could think of, urging him to continue their previous conversation. 

“So” Steve said, feeling shy all of a sudden. “I’ve been thinking.” 

Sam snickered. “Don’t hurt yourself too much, Steve.” 

Steve sighed 

“You’re asshole” 

  
Bucky laughed as well, kissing Steve’s unshaved cheek. He liked how Steve had decided to let his beard grow again, and he wasn’t holding back when it came to showing it. 

“You mentioned before” Steve kept going, a little more serious this time. “That the world needs Captain America.” 

“Well yeah” Sam replied with a shrug. “It feels weird, you know. You not being here when something happens.”

This time, Steve smiled. 

“Captain America is a symbol, you know. It’s not about me being there, Sam, it’s about the world needing a symbol to look up to.” 

“Yes” Sam replied slowly, squinting at him suspiciously. “But now, you’re retired. And I don’t blame you” he said, mentioning at Bucky and their home. “but it’s just… different.”

Steve looked away for a little while, eyes falling on the living room table. He’d tried drawing again, after spending so long without a pen in hand. Bucky had encouraged him to get back to it, and without a fight to be called on, it was almost familiar to wake up in the morning and sketch whatever he stumbled upon at this moment. He’d drawn Bucky again, a lot, and most of his paintings and sketches were scattered across the apartment now. Sometimes, when he woke up with the first rays of the sun and looked at Bucky peacefully sleeping by his side, it felt like life had gotten back to where it was before the war. He had better lungs and a bigger body, but the love tightening his chest whenever he looked at his best friend felt oddly familiar. The only change now was that he got to kiss the tip of Bucky’s nose until he curled happily against him and cuddled the hell out of him every morning, which was something he never thought he would have. 

“I know” Steve finally said with a smile. “Which is why…” 

He got up, winking at Bucky as he crossed the living room to gather the shield propped against the opposite wall, looking at it pensively for a second before turning around and handing it over to Sam. 

“Which is why you should have it, Sam.” 

There was a tense moment of complete silence, Sam staring at the shield with huge eyes as he seemed to process what was happening to him. His hands were drawn up tight on his knees, hitching to either grab it or run them across his face, and Steve couldn’t help but smirk mischievously. 

“It’s not gonna bite, you know” he finally said, shaking it a little.

“Shut up you ass, we’re having a moment” Sam groaned, snapping out of his transe. 

From the corner of his eyes, Steve could see Bucky snicker. 

“I can’t take it” Sam whispered finally, looking up at Steve. “I can’t be… you.”

Steve shook his head. “Sam, no one asked you to be me” he said, pushing it more firmly in Sam’s hands to sit down next to him again on the couch. 

“The world will want me to be you” Sam insisted, caressing the soft vibranium with a reverent hand, eyes never leaving the shield. 

Bucky linked his fingers with Steve again as soon as he was seated, pushing his nose against the crook of Steve’s neck gently, silent but supportive. 

“Who cares about the world thinks” he interrupted, voice slightly muffled by Steve’s sweater. “You’re a good man, Sam, worthy of the shield and what he represents. If the world cannot see that, then it’s their problem.”

This time, Sam chuckled lightly, throat still tight. 

“Yeah, well. I’m not sure the government is gonna see things like this.” 

“I think you worry a little bit too much” Steve insisted, putting a firm hand on Sam’s shoulder. “All you need to do to be Captain America is to be a good man, Sam. You’re one of the best man I’ve known, and trust me when I say that I have known a  _ lot _ of people because I’m old as fuck.” 

Bucky muffled his laugh against Steve’s collarbone, listening to the way his lover’s own giggle reverberated in his broad chest. He missed the way Sam rolled his eyes at the two of them though, before looking down at the shield again with a pensive look on his face.

“Are you sure?” he finally asked one more time, voice a lot quieter than usual. 

Both Steve and Bucky sat down a little straighter, looking at Sam sternly. 

“Sam” Steve said. “I’m sure. This shield is yours, has been since the last battle I fought and decided to put it down forever.” 

Bucky nodded his head firmly when Sam looked at him next, questioning. “What he said” he insisted, fighting back a smile. 

It felt like ages until the moment Sam spoke up again. 

“Alright” he whispered finally. “Alright.” 

This time, when his fist closed around the straps of the shield, his grip was firm. 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> you can find me on twitter and ko-fi under: keptinonzebridg. x


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